A Brief Interview with the Prince of Darkness, part 2

A Brief Interview with the Prince of Darkness, part 2

20011224.1303 EST, Fortson, GA, USA

PD = Prince of Darkness
YT = Yours Truly

PD: So, white boy, what brings you to Earth?

YT: Um... It's more than thirty years until the next bus off this rock?

PD: I see. Well. Another thirty years is a long time to snooze at the bus stop. How do you pass the time?

YT: I, um, commiserate with the others stuck at this stop. I keep an eye on the developing technology so I can tell when the bus will be pulling up. Other than that, I, uh, practice patience.

PD: And cause trouble.

YT: And cause ... Why do you say that?

PD: [sighing] Maybe I'll come back to it. Don't you have a job or something?

YT: Um, it's complicated. I used to do, er, computer stuff. Analyze what people need and design systems and networks and install and administer --

PD: Computer stuff. But you said "used to".

YT: Yeah. The company I worked for -- I was writing interfaces between back-end utilities and testing applications and --

PD: Computer stuff.

YT: Yeah. And the company stalled out financially. So since then I've done some consulting. And I'm working on a novel or two, writing articles and essays and --

PD: Causing trouble.

YT: Causing -- why do you keep saying that?

PD: Maybe later. So do you enjoy what you do?

YT: Right. I [obscene participle referring to the act of copulation] hate computers. Fifty years ago if I had told anyone that the civilized world would be so utterly dependent on systems that can only be described as a towering stack of design flaws cleverly arranged to hide one another in a chaotic sea of unnecessary complexity, I would have been locked away. It's a tribute to human ingenuity that we manage to squeeze the utility we get out of them.

PD: Sounds like congress.

YT: There's an old joke about progress versus congress that just took on a brand new meaning.

PD: [chuckling] So do you enjoy it?

YT: I enjoy making myself look clever. But that's where the joy ends. There are less frustrating ways to appear clever that won't be completely obsolete in eighteen months. Like writing.

PD: And causing trouble.

YT: And caus--. Are you recruiting or something?

PD: [evil leer] In your case it might be a little too late.

YT: Don't make me come over there.

PD: Bring it on, white boy.

[long pause]

YT: What's it pay?

PD: We'll talk later.

[long pause]

PD: So tell me about the Apocalypse.

YT: What?

PD: Never mind. Private joke.

[long pause]

YT: I have fans?

PD: [stands] All done. See you in the funny papers.

[*]