Man Seeking Mayhem

MAN SEEKING MAYHEM

10/13/00 18:14P EDT @lanta

LOCAL MAN BEATS TURNIP IN PERSONALITY TEST -- 32-YO DWM scientifically proven intelligent and charming, outshines vegetables on every scale, meets or beats high tabloid standards. See for yourself. 5'4", 165#, facies hermetica. No skanky hos, bitches OK.

LOCAL MAN LOSES BET, PLACES AD -- 32-YO DWM seeks adventurous fling w/ floozy to ruin future political career. Must be photogenic, well-spoken. Enjoy future talk-show opportunities. 5'4", 165#, no bald spot. Don't miss out!

LOCAL MAN NEEDS HELP SPENDING MONEY -- 32-YO DWM, 5'4", 165#, healthy, has $47.12 burning a hole in his pocket. Can you help? No serious applicants will be considered. $15 surcharge for head games -- but don't bitch if you lose.

BESTED TURNIP CALLS FOR REMATCH -- Tuber claims personality test questions biased against vegetable kingdom. Local man, 32-YO DWM, 5'4", 165#, holding out for Pay-Per-View coverage but willing to take on any vegetable -- for the right price. Call now for event seating.

LOCAL MAN JUGGLES BUICKS TO IMPRESS WOMEN -- 32-YO DWM, 5'4", 165#, strong fantasy-life, seeks down-to-earth, easy-to-impress female for LTR. Healthy, drugsOK (but must be willing to share).

STRANDED SPACE ALIEN GOES NATIVE -- 32-YO DWM heard Earth girls were easy, missed flight home. Don't miss your opportunity to try the only true alternative. 5'4", 165#, biologically compatible, blends in well. Well-traveled.

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